New Data Suggests Men Are More Likely Than Women to Let AI Say 'I Love You'

Men use AI more often to express feelings than women

Women buy 80% of greeting cards, but when an AI writes the words, husbands outnumber wives more than 2 to 1, and nearly 4 to 1 in February.

CHEYENNE, WY, UNITED STATES, September 25, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ -- For decades, women have done the heavy lifting of romance on paper. They buy more than 80% of all greeting cards, according to the Greeting Card Association. But new data from Neume, an AI music platform, suggests that when a machine can find the words, men take over.

In an analysis of roughly 187,000 songs created on the platform between February 2025 and September 2026, Neume found that wives are the single most serenaded people on the platform. Users wrote songs "for my wife" 2.3 times as often as "for my husband," and wives were named 2.5 times as often as mothers.

The gap explodes around the dates men can't afford to forget. In February, people writing songs for their wives outnumbered those writing for husbands nearly 4 to 1. Around Mother's Day, it was 3 to 1. On birthdays, 3.4 to 1.

Only one month reversed the pattern: June, the month of Father's Day.

Men also say less. Prompts written for wives were about 30% shorter than prompts written for husbands, with more than a third under 200 characters. Women spelled out what they wanted to say. Men handed the AI a sketch and let it find the words.

"Men find it hard to put what they feel into words, and now something finds the words for them." said Abhinash Khatiwada, founder of Neume. "We built a music tool. It turned out a lot of husbands were using it to say what they couldn't say out loud."

Researchers have a name for the gap. Psychologist Ronald Levant describes "normative male alexithymia," a socialized difficulty many men have putting emotions into words, especially attachment emotions like caring for or needing someone. Those are exactly the emotions a love song is made of.

The trend is not unique to Neume. McAfee's 2024 "Modern Love" survey of 7,000 adults found 45% of men were considering using AI to write a love letter for Valentine's Day, up from 30% a year earlier. The same survey found 57% of people would be hurt or offended to learn AI wrote their Valentine's message.

It isn't simply that men use AI more. Harvard Business School research puts the general gender gap in AI adoption at about 1.2 to 1. The gap on Neume is nearly double that, and more than three times larger in February.

Neume is an AI music generation platform that turns a few words or lyrics into a full song with vocals. It is available on iOS, Android and the web at neume.io. Neume is operated by Neumosys LLC.

Neume analyzed anonymized prompts from 186,769 songs created by 44,941 users. Recipients were identified from explicit phrases such as "for my wife" and "for my husband," and comparisons are based on unique users. Neume does not collect user gender; writer gender is inferred from the recipient named.

Abhinash Khatiwada
Neumosys LLC
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